Monday, February 1, 2010

OVER-THE-WOW'S

Guess I had to be there . . .
At the 52nd annual Grammy Awards at the Staples Center, LA, 
that is . . .
Because I thought all the performances at the Grammy Awards
were (while fantastic) . . .
Ineffectual.  
Sorry . . .
But after watching and loving the AMA back in November ’09 . . .
All the over-the-top performances last night didn't have the intended effect on me. 
I did love the evening's first performance with Lady GaGa and Sir Elton John but . . .
All I could think of was Lady GaGa's puffy shoulders and  . . .
Oh no! Will shoulder pads be coming back?
And just like at the AMA's, there were lots of female thighs last night too.
But Jennifer Lopez showing hers in a half short/half long dress was funny to me.
In my mind I could hear Marc Anthony say to her the night before . . .
“Darling, your dress is gorgeous! So classy!”
“But all the other women will be showing “thigh.”
Rrrriiiippppppp!
“Better darling? Now you have class and some thigh.”
Beyonce´ showed her thighs in a very theatrical performance I didn't understand.
Instead of being "wowed" . . .
I kept wondering why all the military men? And hope she didn't fall off the stage.
And talk about theatrics . . .
Pink!   
WOW! Her clever costume made her look naked!
My eyes—as I’m sure ALL eyes—were scanning her body.
And her aerial performance was also WOW! 
Got to give it to the woman for nerves of steel!
And got to give it to the cameramen who kept a bird’s-eye shot not just on her crotch, but the several other crotches spinning around up there with her under the big top.
But  . . .
Maybe because of Sacha Baron Cohen’s stunt last year at the MTV awards when he looked like he was a flying trapeze act gone bad hurtling down and landing in Eminem’s face. . .
And because of all the press that stunt received . . .
Maybe that's why the producers of the Grammy’s thought an aerial performance was needed too.
And Pink's performance was stunning, looking as if it came straight out of Cirque du Soleil.
But then . . .
And maybe it’s just me . . .
Her spectacular aerial performance was sabotaged with a stunt that could have only been choreographed by a clown because . . . 
Pink got dunked!
I thought my circus analogy might be over-the-top silly . . .
But then realized there was a "ring" that Beyonce' used in her 
number . . .
And Pink used a "ring" in her performance too so . . .
Maybe it was a clown from the Ringling Bros Circus who was hired to choreograph this event? 
Tired, I decided I'd catch the rest of the winners tomorrow on the Internet or on Entertainment Tonight, but not before catching part of the Black Eye Peas performance and . . .
Was that a sensory-deprivation mask that one guy had on?
A stylish latex one?
Or an over-the-top prop choice?
In any case . . .
Ick!
Off to bed I went.
As I drifted off to sleep . . .
I was thankful . . .
(And I'm sure all writers would agree with me on this one)
That while authors need a platform . . .
They do not have to perform at ceremonies when they receive the Pulitzer Prize, the Nobel Prize in Literature, or even when they make an appearance at the National Book Festival in Washington D.C., or any book event, and especially at book signings.
Maybe it's just me . . .
But I think authors and their writings . . .
Do not need to be over-the-top to be winners.
They are perfect as is.

Always, Em-Musing

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