Friday, March 26, 2010

CRY WOLF

I’m proud of myself.
I’ve killed five wolf spiders in the last few days…
And only screamed once.
It happens every autumn and spring…
That the wolf spiders find their way in my apartment that is.
And now that I know this…
I anticipate the time when…
My cat stands like a statue…
Waiting for a spider…
That she knows is lurking…
Behind a cabinet or something…
To scurry out from behind it.
And then before my cat arches her back…
Ready to pounce…
I’m off the couch with shoe in hand and …
THWAP!
Ha, HA!
My poor cat then just looks at me as if to say, “Can you leave me no joy?”
Now you might be wondering…
Why I just don’t spray for the spiders.
Well, I guess killing spiders with my shoe…
Even though it terrorizes me…
(Not to mention how yucky it is cleaning up their smashed ugly bodies)
Is healthier than breathing in toxic fumes from spider spray.
Because even after I’ve been assured that the spray is only harmful to spiders…
I don’t know if I have that much trust.
Why?
Because I’ve heard the “it’s safe” story one too many times.
Only to hear years later…
About a new weird sounding disease that’s popped up…
Like mesothelioma.
So I’m afraid that…
After years of being exposed to spider spray fumes…
Another weird sounding disease will pop up called…
Spiderkilleraromia.
And I'll wind up getting it.
And then there will be millions of TV commercials saying...
If you've ever been exposed to spider spray...
Call 1-800-I KILLED SPIDERS.
Call me crazy, but for now…
I’ll trust killing spiders (and my health) to me, my cat and my shoe.

Always, Em-Musing

No comments: