Thursday, January 6, 2011

DISS ORDER

I've been profiled!
Definition of PROFILING
                : the act or process of extrapolating information about a
                 person based on known traits or tendencies 
But not by any government agency…
(although don’t you wonder if "someone" is monitoring your computer?)
By Carbonite.
Really.
After my 15 day subscription ran out…
I got a message that I wasn’t protected…
So I signed up and bought 2 years worth…
And then watched as all my files got that cute little green ball…
Indicating that it was backed up.
Except, one file didn’t get that green ball.
It was the file with every version of my query letter to date.
It’s as if Carbonite dissed just this file.
Why?
Carbonite: Hey laptop, what’s this massive megabyte file all about?
Laptop: Oh, it’s the “query letter” file.
Carbonite: It’s crazy! There’re thousands of versions of the same letter.
Laptop:  You have no idea how tedious it is saving it all.
Carbonite: Why does she do it?
Laptop: OCD. She’s trapped in a pattern of repetitive thoughts
             and behaviors that are senseless and very hard to stop.
Carbonite: Well, it’s ridiculous. And you’re enabling each time you save.
Laptop: Really? I never looked at like that.
Carbonite: Not only does she have OCD, but I think she’s delusional about finding an agent.  
Definition of DELUSIONAL DISORDER
                    :an illness characterized by the presence of false beliefs
                    based on incorrect inference about external reality that persists 
                    despite the evidence to the contrary.
Carbonite: I think an intervention is necessary. Therefore, 
                 I’m not going to back up that file. And if I were you
                 I wouldn't either. 
Yikes!
I better submit to my “Agents to Query” list before, oh–
HA, HA, HA!
What am I thinking?
That conversation between Carbonite and my laptop never happened…
Did it.
(?)

Always, Em-Musing

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